Weddings are weird this year.
Ok, that’s an understatement.
Popular wedding websites have all but replaced the term “destination wedding” with “microwedding.” We’re caught in Wedding Confusionland, where old-school rules (sorry, no dancing) mix with new-school tools (please join via Zoom). For many of us - myself and my sister included - the reality of 2020 has shaped our special days into something unrecognizable from our Pinterest board dreams.
First of all, let me just acknowledge that it’s lame. I’m sorry. I wish you had the day you planned. Fingers crossed that next year brings a one-year anniversary party that has you saying, “Wedding, schmedding! This is way better.”
Secondly, let me say thank you. Because you are compromising on your original vision, you’re helping keep the people you love (not to mention all the people they love) safe. I wish you all health and a whole lot of happiness.
With shrunken in-person lists, virtual wedding guests playing a bigger role than ever. My sister did an awesome job making sure everyone - virtual guests included - was clear on their roles and felt completely included in the day. Here are some of her key tips to making it work. I hope you find it helpful!
Tip 1: Virtual guests are not required
Including our virtual guests was important to us, but if it’s not something you want to do, don’t feel bad! We really liked trying to include everyone and I’m so glad we did, but it’s completely fine to let people know your plans have changed. They will be more understanding than you think.
Tip 2: Send something to accompany your livestream
Look at ideas for “welcome baskets” that people usually have waiting for their out-of-town guests at the hotel - they are really helpful in getting ideas for what you could include in a box. People loved the accompanying boxes and let us know that they felt more involved because of them.
Tip 3: Check your budget
The boxes and the streaming costs were not in our original budget, but a lot of things that were in the original budget were cut, so we were confident re-allocating funding. The average cost of one box was probably $20-$25 including the box, everything inside and shipping.
Tip 4: Plan ahead, order ahead, ask for help
The boxes took quite a bit of planning, time and manpower. We started ordering box items as soon as we decided to do this to account for slower shipping and closures. We had to plan with Joy to have the cookies prepared at just the right time, prep the boxes to be ready when the cookies arrived, pack the boxes with the cookies and programs, label and organize the boxes, and get the boxes to FedEx and the post office. (PRO TIP: P.O. boxes can’t get deliveries from FedEx!) We also delivered several boxes in person, so definitely enlist help!
Tip 4: Self-advocate
A lot of the ideas for virtual/in-person events are new. The venue managers, coordinators and vendors will not be used to, or necessarily understand what your vision is. Spell it out big time and stick hard to what you want. I know that many people in the wedding industry have specialized experience and can provide a lot of insight on what will work and what won’t, but with the changes happening now, they are no longer the expert in all aspects. With that being said, because this is all new, have some grace for your vendors as well because they may try their best and still not be able to pull off exactly what you envisioned.
Tip 5: Make it your own!
This is old advice but for a new time. Don’t worry what everyone will think of you and your wedding. There will always be someone who is offended that they weren’t invited, someone who doesn’t like how you did it, someone who thinks the food is terrible, someone who thinks your ideas were lame. While you want people to have a good time and you want to thank them for being there for you, ultimately you can decide what it is you want and what works best for you!
If you’re interested in putting together goodie boxes for your virtual guests and want to include some custom cookies for a sweet treat, I‘d love to work with you. Take a look at the Sweet Joyness Bakery flavor options here.